Nothing and no one is completely safe in the online sphere these days. But that doesn’t also mean that people are staying offline from a fear of the unknown. Conversely, more and more people are acclimatising themselves to technology so that they can live easier, free, entertaining and informed lives. The young generation is at the forefront of this bandwagon.
As a parent, I fear for my children’s safety each time they are online, and I know every parent out there harbours this same fear. The worry of cyber bullies, paedophiles, identity thieves, data thieves, and the gamut of other such online threats is ever-present.
It is quite rare that parents are unaware of these online dangers, but it might not be as rare to have parents who do nothing about them. Mainly due to a lack of knowledge on how to prevent these dangers, many parents allow their children to grapple alone with such threats on a daily basis without actually equipping their children and themselves with adequate knowledge and preventative mechanisms first.
The website raisingchidlren.net.au classifies online dangers as those associated with content, contact, conduct and contract.
Content has to do with what information and visuals they have access to and share online. Contact deals with the types of people they meet and converse with on the World Wide Web. Conduct handles how children behave online and how they can be victims of such behaviour, while contract refers to the agreements they may enter online, such as membership agreements and terms and conditions.
In order to make your life easier, we compiled some guidelines to follow when giving your young ones the chance to enjoy life online.
Have the talk
Tell your children the basics. DO NOT SHARE PERSONAL INFORMATION ONLINE. It is amazing just how many adults alone do not follow this simple rule when interacting online. According to a survey of 2,000 children by Savvy Cyber Kids in 2022, these children were sharing potentially sensitive information via their social media profiles.
Furthermore, a survey of around 4,000 children between the ages of 8 and 13 showed that around 43% of them were chatting online with people they had never before met in real life. The dangers of these situations are so substantial that one cannot help but want to leap into action one way or another. But the truth of the matter is that quite like most things in life, prevention is the best option.
Speaking to your children candidly about the dangers lurking online is essential to mitigate this crisis. Discuss acceptable and unacceptable forms of communication. Children these days are far more advanced than we were while growing up, so be honest with them and also give them the chance to be honest with you. Many parents think that limiting screen time and taking their children’s devices away are the answer. While the former is a good start, it does not completely eliminate online dangers; it merely reduces it. Also, antagonising your children by taking away much of their social life (which is what their devices provide these days) will merely lead to bad blood between yourself and them.
Be the parent
Even once you’ve explained things clearly, your children may fight you on your decisions. However, in light of the safety that comes with it, consider it worth it. Set boundaries for your children so that their social media presence is restricted. For instance, I know plenty of parents who have given their teenage children mobile phones with which to keep in touch with them but do not allow their children to have social media accounts. It is also important to let your children know that you will be checking on their online presence regularly. Make it clear that it is not about mistrusting them, so much as it is about mistrusting what is out there in the great digital unknown.
Also, tell your children about cyberbullying and what it looks like. Bullies often begin as friends but then can turn a situation around by saying something mean, uncomfortable or frightening. Teach your child how to spot these signs and to come to you immediately.
Never allow your children to be online where you are not able to keep an eye on them. This can be easier said than done as they grow older and have more independence. But at least, at home, ensure that their devices are used when you are around to keep an eye. Administer parental software controls such as ‘bark.’ Firewalls and content blockers are a must, for online safety.
As part of this, ensure that your child has no access to photos- either uploading or downloading- without your permission. Make sure your child knows what appropriate and inappropriate content is and also talk to them about pop-up ads, emails and direct messaging that might be invasive.
For younger children
Children above the age of 9 or so will be more or less able to navigate the online world in a more able manner than their younger counterparts. Adding to our difficulties as parents is also the fact that we cannot exactly talk to our very young children of age 3 or 4 about online safety, even though we do give them their screens to indulge in so that we can get some work or chores done, and keep our general sanity intact.
Therefore, it is imperative that we set up different profiles for the members of our households that restrict access to unsuitable content. As a part of this, you can allow your very young children to access only child-appropriate apps such as YouTube Kids, ABC Kids and CBeebies.
Setting the tone
Switch on those parental controls on devices, ensure privacy settings are on, location services are off, and block in-app purchases.
Trust and communication are key when navigating the trepidatious territory of online life. If you are surveying your child’s online activity, let them know. Keep the channels of communication open and always be wary of your child’s changes in behaviour that could signal a problem in their online world. If something does go wrong, don’t judge and scold. Listen, gently advise and help them overcome the problem.
(Anouk De Silva)