In a variety of professional settings, including negotiations and high-pressure situations, having a poker face can be a useful skill. This special social ability can help you advance while also projecting a sense of confidence and authority.
Everyone knows what a poker face is, even if you’ve never played the game before. This everyday phrase has long since moved beyond the deck of cards and gained recognition as an important social skill. It’s helpful when wagering on high-stakes games, but it may also be a big plus at work.
But what makes having a poker face crucial and when is it appropriate to adopt one?
First off, what is a poker face?
This term, as mentioned above, originated from the card game of poker.
Keeping your emotions in check while playing the game is essential. It prevents other players from determining your level of excitement or frustration with your current deck or your level of anxiety in anticipation of a huge win.
Should you display emotional facial expressions, your opponent would be more likely to forecast your cards and ultimately have a higher chance of beating you at the game.
The ability to maintain a straight face, or poker face, is a skill that great poker players must acquire. Even while the word has a history in cards, it is no longer exclusively connected to the card game of poker.
The concept of the poker face has expanded throughout time, as it is now used in any circumstance in which maintaining an emotionless, neutral facial expression is advantageous.
The poker face at work
In stressful situations, professionals frequently find it difficult to regulate their emotional responses. “How can I keep a poker face?” they question. “How do I avoid my emotions from showing on my face?”
Competent leaders recognise that while expressing emotions can be advantageous, there are other situations in which sharing your raw reactions could backfire. You must use extreme caution while expressing your emotions, whether it’s in a performance assessment, heated debate, or high-stakes meeting.
It’s not about being dishonest or repressing emotions to keep a poker face. It’s about controlling your emotions, paying attention to your body language and facial expressions, and using them sparingly.
Choose situations with caution
It’s not always suitable to communicate with a poker face, and you shouldn’t make it your go-to method.
If you use it excessively, you may come across as unreliable, inept, or unlikeable. In many leadership situations, in order for your team, peers, and clients to feel comfortable and make wise judgments, they need to see how you respond.
To decide when to put on a poker face, think about the following questions:
How does this affect your goals?
Consider the impact of your emotional expression on your goals. For instance, maintaining a poker face during negotiating can be advantageous, even though it may come across as dishonest while establishing relationships.
What part do you play in the conversation?
Your expression may be determined by your role. It could be preferable to project confidence and assertiveness when presiding over a meeting. Being responsive and open as a participant can be more acceptable.
What degree of vulnerability is suitable in this case?
Determine whether being more open is appropriate or if the circumstance demands a cautious approach. This also relies on your sense of authenticity and unique style.
What rules does the company follow?
Expectations for emotional expressiveness vary throughout cultures and work settings. Adjust your actions to fit these expectations.
Know what to look for in yourself
In professional contexts, your tells are the physical or behavioural cues that betray your intentions or feelings, much like in poker where a tell is a subtle shift in conduct that indicates your hand. Recognising these cues is essential to managing your reactions and keeping your composure when necessary.
Observe how you behave in different contexts during the day. Observe any differences in patterns between your calm and anxious, agitated, or stressful states. Typical warning signs could be shifting your posture, avoiding eye contact, or fidgeting. I’ve tried to cut back on the habit of biting or picking at my nails when I’m under pressure, for instance.
To identify any tells, try recording yourself in various situations and watching the video afterwards. Because it lets you see yourself as other people do, this technique can be quite illuminating.
One such option is to solicit comments from a dependable mentor or coworker. Even if you’re not conscious of it, others may see trends in your conduct. You can learn a lot about your tells and improve them by using this outside viewpoint.
Watch your body language
If you do choose to put on a poker face, be careful not to come across as extremely rigid or heartless. It can work better if the expression is a combination of cool-headedness and warmth.
Breathe deeply and slowly to help yourself relax. Let go of any facial tension by lowering your tongue from the roof of your mouth and tensing up your jaw. A calm face comes to be seen as more friendly and transparent.
You may unknowingly narrow your eyes or fixate on something when you’re stressed or nervous. To combat this, avert your eyes. To ease your eye muscles, fix your attention on a far-off object. This aids in preserving a kind but neutral facial expression.
Your speech pattern might reveal a great deal about your emotional condition. Try to talk more slowly and in a quieter voice. Your speech may naturally quicken when you’re angry or afraid; deliberately slow it down. You will sound more stable and have a deeper voice when you speak from your diaphragm.
Include sentences that further the discussion without disclosing your feelings or ideas. Conversational navigation techniques like “that’s interesting” and “help me understand…” are neutral expressions.
Interrupt emotional overwhelm
To effectively manage your emotions and uphold a professional demeanour, incorporate grounding techniques into your routine. These simple exercises, such as counting backwards from 100, identifying objects of a specific colour, or engaging in muscle relaxation, can help redirect your focus to the present moment and mitigate immediate emotional intensity.
Additionally, visualisation can be a powerful tool in calming your nervous system. By picturing a serene beach or a quiet forest in your mind and immersing yourself in that calming environment, you can effectively lower stress and anxiety levels, fostering a sense of tranquillity and composure.
Cold exposure can have a surprisingly calming effect. Hold a glass of ice water, suck on an ice cube, or splash your face with cold water. The physical sensation can help snap you out of an emotional state and refocus your thoughts.
Remember, having a poker face is about controlling how you express emotions, not suppressing them. Trust in your ability to remain composed and thoughtful, using your awareness of facial expressions and body language to communicate effectively and reach your goals.
(Tashia Bernardus)