The internet-wide uptick in interest in self-care can be attributed to an array of factors – the health scare of the global pandemic, widespread fatigue due to the increasingly intense demands of the age we live in, social demands of the virtual and the ‘real’ and so on and so forth. This interest in turn has inspired many to take to the internet to offer up self-care routines that work for them, from gyming to skincare. However, this has also resulted in many misunderstandings as to what actually constitutes self-care, with some even believing that self-care is a realm that they are priced out of.
Self-care is health care
While most would argue that self-care does not constitute health care, they would also struggle to express where the difference lay in. Simply put, the health care system is understood as the one which the ‘consumers’ of said care is seen as passive, while the care providers are especially trained professionals who actively work to provide it. This picture of health care is an incomplete one, as it only encompasses the professional care portion of health care. It completely obscures a much larger portion of health care that is self-care, where an individual tends to themselves without the help of said professionals. Hospitals would be much more crowded than they are now if they suddenly had to provide for the symptoms and needs that we self-diagnose and self-manage throughout our lives.
As the name suggests, self-care depends entirely on the individual’s personal needs. Self-care routines depend on our personal routines and unless they are deeply damaging, there is no right or wrong routines, just what our lives demand of us. But what constitutes self-care? Is it a good soak in a bathtub with accompanying flowers and candles? Is it a regular gym schedule? And what do we do when we simply don’t have the time or mental energy for our self-care routine? Is self-care even worth attempting when you can’t repeat it consistently?
½ self-care is better than no self-care at all
The self-care routines many try to practise fall by the wayside when the rigours of daily life become too challenging. Ironically enough, this is when we need self-care the most. Doing what you find it possible to do to take care of yourself is better than doing nothing at all. This can be as little (or as much, depending on how you’re doing) as keeping yourself hydrated and well-fed. All too often we find ourselves spiralling into self-neglect because we make the mistake of thinking that just brushing our teeth is useless when we can’t muster the energy to take a shower. This mindset can be a particularly difficult one to combat when mental health deteriorates.
The truth is that sometimes sticking to a routine can be too much for us, especially if we find comfort in elaborate routines. The key is in taking half-measures when full-measures are not possible. Maybe you don’t have time to go to gym these days – you could maybe still take a brisk walk to and fro from work. Maybe even that is a little too much, in which case a turn about your house is more beneficial than not leaving your bed. You can’t stand the thought of prepping a meal? Milk and cookies are a better option than going without, and maybe, they might even help with whatever you’re going through.
Sustainability as an end goal
The pandemic saw many of us pick up elaborate self-care routines that we used to fill up the spare time in our days. Extensive skin care routines, five kilometre runs, morning and night meditation sessions: all practices we undoubtedly benefited from, and promptly let go of once ‘real’ life kicked back into gear. While it is better to have done these for at least a short period of time than not at all, the ability to replicate it is something we should look at in crafting a self-care routine for ourselves. Meditating for one hour daily may not be possible outside of the weird timeline that the global quarantine created, but we can still dedicate 5 minutes of our day for a gratitude exercise. It will also spare us the acute distress of repeatedly failing to meet our self-care routine. More importantly, this five minutes per day will be easier to sustain overtime, giving us the opportunity to build on it and increase the time we can set apart for it as well.
Not a way to extract ‘more’ from yourself
Another mistake that self-care rookies often make is believing that self-care is a way to increase your productivity. Increased productivity might very well be a happy bonus of taking care of your mental and physical wellbeing. However, increased work productivity is not an end goal of self-care itself. Self-care aims to do just what the name suggests, caring for the self, by the self. It is an act that builds self-love and increases quality-of-life. Indeed, for some, self-care would include lessening the focus on work to focus on their well-being more, and finding a work-life balance that makes them happy in the long term.
Not for a subset of people that are ‘ill’
People also make the common mistake of assuming that since self-care routines place a lot of emphasis on mental health and wellbeing that it is solely reserved to those that struggle in that sense. In fact, self-care is not a prescription for those who are ill, it is rather a mental bolster to one and all. The act and the dedication of tending to one’s own self with the same kind of care and consideration typically reserved for others is a practice that we all stand to benefit from, irrespective of what we may or may not struggle with.
Self-care is not a luxury
At least, it should not be.
Our consumerist culture tends to place the most importance to the appendages and products we attach to our personal self-care routines. Expensive skin-care, exercise equipment, and the most expensive food stuff do not make or break the value of what you do to take care of yourself. It is true that what you can afford will decide certain self-care goals such as ‘eating healthy’. That doesn’t mean that there is no value in ‘eating healthier’, for example. It is still possible to work towards our ideals within our realm of possibilities.
In the same vein, self-care is not also reserved for a certain socioeconomic class, despite what many lifestyle blogs would have you believe. It’s helpful to remember that it is the job of many online media to sell you something or the other. That doesn’t mean that they are a necessity to your life. Attaching self-care values to certain products will only cause you distress, and as emphasised on before, it’s only necessary to do what you are capable of doing to take care of yourself.
Self-care is not superficial
Another element of self-care routines that we tend to lose focus on is that self-care is more than just the sum of its more ‘superficial’ elements. We may practise skin-care as a part of our self-care routine, for example. This doesn’t mean that healthy skin alone (although a desirable goal in itself) is what we are aiming for. Self-care routines aim to provide for an amalgamation of such goals. Skin-care promotes the well-being of our skin, it reinforces our confidence in ourselves, and reestablishes in our own mind that we are worthy of self-care, and love. Exercise, healthy eating, and the like are all such amalgamations of goals.
Misconceptions in self-care can end up causing us the same mental fatigue that we seek to avoid. At its fundamental level, self care is meant to address both mental and physical health. Activities such as mindful eating, physical exercise, and dancing for example directly addresses our physical wellbeing. Activities such as painting, meditating, and play provide for our mental wellbeing. However, it is a fallacy to imagine that these different types of activities only affect one sphere or the other. The modern self-care movement is a response to the increasing pressures of the 21st century. It should be a holistic approach that seeks to maintain and enhance our mental, physical and emotional health. Self-care is the dedication to prioritise the different elements of good health within and without our self-care routines. In doing so, it is important not to lose sight of the flowers by focusing only on the gardening implements.
(Theruni Liyanage)